In the “Irish wake” of Saint Patrick’s Day, when the amateur drinkers go pro or go home, we take note of the new stains we’ve managed to add to our beloved green shirts and how the hangovers seem to get harder every year. But not every lucky tourist can be in Key West, Florida on this “hoppiest” of holidays, and not every spring breaker gets cut a break by being invited down where the sun never stops shining, but, lucky for you, the shenanigans here are year round.

If you’re not “Type A” when it comes to booze cruisin about town, leave the planning to someone else, save some time & energy (and potentially money) and just join the Key West Cocktail Crawl! They’ve already scouted out the best local bars and the drink lineup has a something for most everyone.

The local guides know their way around the tiny island bar scene. With no fear of getting lost, you’ll be happy to let them lead the way!  But showing up and going with the flow isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and we appreciate that. Some like to be the king or queen of their own destiny, researching their way to the perfect plan. With so many choices, where do you start? Our first rule of Fight Club, I mean Key West Food Tours, is to GET OFF DUVAL ST! So, with our one and only rule in mind, we’ve listed great substitutes for those Duval bars you’ve been to a million times and are ready move on from…

Instead of Sloppy Joe’s, Try Captain Tony’s

Photo // Laurence Norah/Florida Keys News Bureau

Come hang where Hemingway and his famous literary friends used to at this Key West staple.  Live music and walls lined with historical memorabilia, Captain Tony’s has something for your eyes and ears. We didn’t forget your tastebuds, of course! Belly up to the wrap around bar and grab a signature Pirate Punch, a concoction of multiple liquors and juices. Or, a must try, the Hemingway Mojito featuring Pilar Rum, mint, Lime, simple syrup and club soda.

Instead of Irish Kevin’s, Try General Horseplay

Photo // TripAdvisor

This misplaced, Midwest looking dark and golden hued gem has the welcome mat out for everyone. Fancy types can get their craft cocktails shaken or stirred, while the regulars can chase their shot of Jameson with a Bud light. The name along with the quotes on the bathroom doors are all ala Bill Murray, so you know the place has a sense of humor! The best is yet to be seen…head to the back patio where you’re in for a fun treat. I won’t spoil the surprise by telling you what that is, you’ll just have to see for yourself!

Instead of The Green Room, Try White Tarpon

Locals, late owls, and granolas alike all love the laid back vibe you’ll find at this whole-in-the-wall gem. Recycled materials, tongue-in-cheek references to marijuana, and the Green Man himself as their mascot, The Green Room makes many connections to its signature color that lights up Greene Street. Infamous Key West party boys are behind the bar pouring drinks while solid talent jams til the early hours of the morning. Get yourself a Liquid Marijuana, the bar’s signature frozen drink that is so yummy the boss keeps the recipe secret.

Fat Tuesday

Hot DJ mixes, crowded dance floors, and hard frozen drinks make Fat Tuesday’s a late night favorite in Key West. Photo // Flickr.com

The wall of frozen drinks makes Fat Tuesday the chillest place on Duval Street. The days there can sometimes be as crazy as the nights. Fog fills their dance floor and shot girls make sure everyone is having the best time they can, but it’s their DJ’s that are the heroes of the night! Their mixes bring the crowds until closing time. 190 Octane is their “go-to” frozen concoction, but don’t drink it too fast, or you won’t be able to feel your brain…or your face.

Senor Frog’s

Are you in Key West or Miami? It’s hard to tell when the the beats are bump’n at Senor Frog’s. Photo // travel-assets.com

If you want to wile out on spring break (or just relive the glory days) and reggaeton and miami dance music happen to be your jams, then Senor Frog’s is where to hop to. Sport your highlighter colors to take advantage of the black lights, and get loco with a staff that is hired to keep the party alive. Want to get lit? Grab a Frog’s Buster made with vodka, rum, gin, triple sec, simple syrup, and fresh cranberry and lime juice, that is LITERALLY topped with Rum on fire.

Have fun, but don’t say we didn’t warn you!